Gossip, Gossip

I have an old habit of talking about the faults of others. In fact, it's so habitual that sometimes I don't realize I've done it until afterwards.

What lies behind this tendency to put others down?

One of my teachers, Geshe Ngawang Dhargye, used to say, "You get together with a friend and talk about the faults of this person and the misdeeds of that one. Then you go on to discuss others' mistakes and negative qualities. In the end, the two of you feel good because you've agreed you're the two best people in the world."


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Everyone wants to be loved - to have his or her positive aspects noticed and acknowledged, to be cared for and treated with respect.

Almost everyone is afraid of being judged, criticized, and rejected as unworthy.

Cultivating the mental habit that sees our own and others' beauty brings happiness to ourselves and others; it enables us to feel and to extend love.

Leaving aside the mental habit that finds faults prevents suffering for ourselves and others.

This should be the heart of our spiritual practice.

For this reason, His Holiness the Dalai Lama said, "My religion is kindness."


Extract from: Speaking of the Faults of Others, by Venerable Thubten Chodron